Love. We all know the feelings. Different stages, different types of love.
What kind of feeling of love do you prefer? I had one friend when I was younger, let’s call him James, who wanted to feel that first flush of love all the time. When the sensation changed, as James got to know the woman in question, he assumed the relationship wasn’t working, and broke up with them. He then moved on to the next, to sense the new excitement of being in love. In his 40s he changed his idea of what love should feel like, and was able to settle down.
Love is a body state
Bear with me here. Try out this experiment before you dismiss the idea. Take a moment to feel the speed of your breath, and the sense of looseness/tightness in your face and in your body.
Then, close your eyes, and think of the last time you felt love, and being loved – it might be a person, situation, place. It doesn’t matter. Allow the memory to seep into your face; your brain; your whole body, not just into the skin, but allow the sensation to reach your bones. I feel it in a similar way to warm sun on my skin after a long winter. Stay for a few moments inviting this sensation into every corner of yourself.
Then, notice the difference in your breathing, your facial expression and your expansiveness. Does it feel nicer? Easier? Maybe when you move again, there’s a little more spring in your step?
The sensation of Love
For many of us, the sensation of love creates a difference in our self-image and the world around us. We can be more permeable, more open. As if we don’t need all the layers of armour that we create for ourselves throughout our lives. It helps us to create human connections.
You don’t need to be in love to feel it. Everyone I’ve worked with has some memory of love, no matter how far back. Take a couple of minutes, in any position, it doesn’t matter what. Create your brain and body soak “physical memory of love” to your life whenever you’d like to feel a little bit easier. or a little bit warmer. I find people respond to me differently, and I certainly react differently to them.
It’s not about pretending that difficult things aren’t happening in the world. But a moment of self-love, is also a moment of self-care. We can’t look after others when we’re running on empty. So take a moment to reset.
If this worked for you, let me know, and if it didn’t, I’m interested to hear too.
the Feldenkrais Method with Emma Alter 