What do you do when you’re angry? Physically I mean. Have you noticed? I realise over the last month I’ve spent more time cross or irritated than usual. From the petty end of the scale, being on public transport with people who don’t use headphones. I know, it’s petty. And it’s one thing that I find myself irritated by.
When you’re angry or irritated, where do you stiffen or harden yourself?
Do you tighten your jaw? Your back? Do you stiffen or arch the back? Do you feel if your thighs tighten up, or your chest stiffens when it fills with air? Next time you’re angry this week see if you can notice what you do, and where. What can you do to release this tension?
What does anger do for us?
Anger is about keeping some one else away physically, or preparing for attack. It requires some sense of self and other. The stiffness prepares the nervous system for a fight response. In that preparation, the pushing away of others, is a lack of space for input. The tension we add turns off your peripheral vision, or hearing. It’s why some people play/sing out of tune when they’re nervous, they simply don’t have brain space for audial input. They can’t hear as well as normal.
It’s why most counsellors don’t suggest continuing to argue when there’s anger involved. It’s better to postpone discussion until all parties have calmed down. If we’re angry, we can’t listen as well. It’s harder to digest other people’s opinions, or outside ideas.
So what can we do?
For most people being in the body pattern of anger brings discomfort. It adds tension. That physical tension heightens the emotion- it’s reflected in the body. As you learn to emote, you associate different body holding with different feelings. Some emotions are inbuilt, some we learn as we mature.
When we realise what we’re doing, what we’re adding physically, we can start to unwind it. The physical aspects of emotion are easier to sense, and change than the thinking part. It’s why in my teaching, that’s where we start. With the body. With your physical movement and state.
The nervous system is a two way state, so what we sense physically is massively important. It’s not that we’re not feeling ourselves, or negating any difficult emotion. But when we can recognise when we’re starting to be angry, or are angry we have a choice. We wind down the physical side of an emotion, so we’re more able to make decisions built on cognition. Or not. But there’s a choice, we can respond, rather than only react. Our cognitive brain can be more involved, rather than our “monkey” part of the brain doing the thinking for us.
Choice, not compulsion
We don’t want to remove anger from the picture. It can be an indicator of a need for change, or conversation. It can be motivator – it can move us towards action. But it’s good if we have some choice in the matter. Otherwise it’s compulsion.
I’ll be teaching this next term in my Reducing Anxiety course segment: Unpicking your Emotions. If that’s of interest, do get in touch.
the Feldenkrais Method with Emma Alter 